District Rally

Thursday 14 September 2017

Craxton Wood Hotel and Spa

Collection of Cultural snippets that reflect Inner Wheel

THE ALTO’S LAMENT

It’s tough to be an alto when you’re singing in the choir
The sopranos get the twiddly bits that people all admire,
The basses boom like loud trombones, the tenors shout with glee,
But the alto part is on two notes (or if your lucky, three).

And when we sing an anthem and we lift our hearts in praises.
The men get all the juicy bits and telling little phrases.
Of course the trebles sing the tune – they always come off best;
The altos only get three notes and twenty - two bars rest.

We practice very hard each week from hymn books and the Psalter,
But when the conductor looks at us our voices start to falter.
“Too high! Too low! Too fast! – you held that note too long!”
It doesn’t matter what we do – it’s certain to be wrong!

Oh! Shed a tear for altos, they’re the Martyrs and they know,
In the ranks of choral singers they’re considered very low.
They are so very humble that a lot of folks forget them;
How they’d love to be sopranos, but their vocal chords won’t let them!

And when the final trumpet sounds and we are wafted higher,
Sopranos, basses, tenors – they’ll be in the Heavenly Choir.
While they sing “Alleluia” to celestial flats and sharps,
The altos will be occupied with polishing the harps.

“ The Village Bakery Tour”

I’d like to give you some gossip
Of what happened on our bakery tour,
When a friend got stuck in the toilet
and couldn’t unlock the door.

Everyone met at the “Holly Bush”
To enjoy a slap up tea,
Then off to Coedpoeth and the bakery,
Where they met up with Nancy & me.

Soon we were greeted by Robin,
The third generation M.D.
He handed us all a blue hairnet
And said “Come along ,follow me”.

After a nip through the stores
Our noses were filled with delight,
Of the aroma of fresh baking bread
From the ovens that were busy all night.

The large tubs of dough sat there proving
Until almost double their size,
They were destined to make up the pikelets,
To bake them was such a SURPRISE!

We looked at the ceiling to find
A conveyor belt being filled up & stacked
With the dough now turned into pikelets
On their way to be wrapped up & packed.

The tour ended when we got to the warehouse
Where crates were stacked on the floor,
Filled with all kinds of scones
To deliver to M & S stores.

We were given a packet of pancakes
And pikelets to take along home,
When our friend needed the toilet,
But the door had a mind of its own.

The M. D.was quite understanding
And eventually produced the right key,
Which opened the dodgy old lock,
Then everyone cried,”She’s Free !!”

Since then she’s become a Granny,
Can now spin her granddaughter a yarn
Of the night she got caught in the toilet
And escaped without coming to harm!


By I.W.Past President Dilys Wynn

SUNG TO ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL

CHORUS

FOUR GIRLS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL
ALL LOOKING FOR A MAN
WE ARE MOST PARTICULAR
SO HELP US IF YOU CAN.

VERSE
Ist I WANT MINE DARK AND HANDSOME
2nd MINE MUST BE ABLE TO SING
3rd MINE MUST BE UNDER PENSION AGE
4th I’LL SETTLE FOR ANYTHING

CHORUS SUNG BETWEEN EACH VERSE

VERSE
1st I BRUSH MY TEETH EACH MORNING
2nd AND ONCE AGAIN AT NIGHT
3rd THEY SPARKLE LIKE THE STARS ABOVE
4th BUT THEY DON’T COME OUT AT NIGHT.

VERSE
ALL THE MEN ADMIRE OUR FIGURES
THEY COME FROM FAR AND NEAR
1st AND I’M SO VERY GRATEFUL
FOR MY PLATEX LIVING BRA

VERSE
ALL WE’VE JUST BEEN ON A DIET
TO FIGHT THE FLAB YOU KNOW
BUT WHAT WE’VE TAKEN OFF THE TOP
WE’VE PUT ON DOWN BELOW

VERSE
ALL OUR PIN-UP IS JOHN INMAN
SHOULD HE ASK US HOME FOR TEA
HE MIGHT SAY “ARE YOU BEING SERVED.”
AND WE’LL REPLY “WE’RE FREE.”

FINAL CHORUS
FOUR GIRLS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL
WE’LL PUT YOU TO THE TEST
JUST YOU FIND US EACH A MAN
AND WE WILL DO THE REST.

From an Anonymous donor

I’m Inner Wheel – Yes, Inner Wheel.
Part of the circle that holds our lives together;
Very much its inner strength, not in terms of width or length,
But warm friendship, whatever circumstance or weather.

I’m Inner Wheel,
Just Inner Wheel,
Not Sorops, Business Women, Masonic Wives.
I’m a person who really cares, who helps, collects and shares,
Tries to bring more light and comfort to less favoured lives.

I’m Inner Wheel,
New Inner Wheel,
Feeling freer now we’ve lost that Rotary link.
We work with them as equal and, as a happy sequel,
Recruit more who’ll carry on our Club, we think.

I’m Inner Wheel,
Proud Inner Wheel,
Never regretting joining, my focus year by year.
My comforter in grief, yet my joy and light relief,
My ready gateway into service far and near.

Hard to conceal
Just what I feel –
I’m Inner Wheel.

By ‘an admirer’ in D18

The President's Brainwave

The members of the Inner Wheel Club of Llangollen have been using their 'brains' to help Brainwave, Dr Sheila Halliday-Pegg's Charity.
To celebrate St David's Day President Eulanwy Davies arranged an Eisteddfod. Amongst the competitions were limericks and pieces of creative writing. The adjudicator deemed that the entries were of such a high standard that they should be published. An anthology called Wheel Writes was produced and is being sold for £2 to raise money for this very worthy cause.
This limerick was very topical at the time.

While shopping in Wrexham one day,
I asked an assistant, 'Please say
Is this beefburger Horse?
She answered, 'Of course—
D'you fancy a pack?' I said ,'Nay!'

When You Wish Upon a Star

District Chairman, Carol's chosen charity for 2016/17 -When You Wish Upon a Star

The Northern Cleft Foundation

District's International Service focus -The Northern Cleft Foundation

Beat - Beating Eating Disorders

Association President, Zena Coles' chosen charity for 2016/17 -Beat